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Anthony Bayer
Sexuality in a Liberal Society
Posts :: Anthony Bayer
Posts Posts RSS feed This project is completed and will not see any updates. The point of these posts was to make sense to me so I could better my emotions. Most of these don’t have context as to whose perspective it’s f...
Chapters :: Anthony Bayer
Chapters Chapters RSS feed A great place to start is the foreword All posts are dated in real time, meaning the date is when the events actually happened
Mr. Garrison :: Anthony Bayer
I felt intimidated, but I tried to look like I wasn’t, even though he could see right through me. “Feeling intimidated?” He asked me, without needing an answer." Fuck. “No.” I said....
Beverly Hill :: Anthony Bayer
Sanchez: How are you feeling, Beverly? Beverly: Fine. Sanchez: How would you describe your relationship with Ben Kempsity? Beverly: We’re dating - boyfirend girlfriend stuff. Sanchez: Are you aware with the sexual relationship Ben...
Tyler :: Anthony Bayer
Tyler and I were sitting on opposite sides of a steel-framed wooden table. Tyler looked into my eyes, I tried to look into his but his glasses were reflecting the colors of the sunset that were reflecting off of the windows all around us, s...
Neural Network :: Anthony Bayer
ldquo;So…” Mr. Algien started, “What do you guys want to learn about today?” Everyone was super tired. We had this class at the end of the day on Wednesdays. “artificial intelligence?&r...
Hong Kong :: Anthony Bayer
I would miss this flat, I’ve lived here for two years now. Out of boredom I picked up my handgun and started to swing it around my left index finger from the trigger guard, my right hand was already occupied with a glass of wine. ...
New York :: Anthony Bayer
I woke up, ready to start the first day of Summer in New York. I sat up, and immediately was met with a splitting headache. I was hung over. My cousin, sister, and I had more than a bit to drink last night. I stood up and got into my clothe...
Valentines Day :: Anthony Bayer
Are we going to talk about it?” I asked Ben as he stuffed his face with a hand roll. “Talk about what?” He said with his mouth half full. “I don’t know, just about us.” “What is there to talk about” he insisted. “The relationship between us...
3 AM :: Anthony Bayer
I woke up. I was calmed, and still sleepy. I quickly looked over at the wall about four feet from the foot of the bed. A small white glow illuminated from the back of two arms that resembled a clock. It read 3:04, AM obviously. I had my rig...
24 Bit :: Anthony Bayer
I clicked the shuffle button, and instantly one of the 385 tracks that were on my Favorites playlist at the time started playing in my ear. This time I got “Wonderland” by CHVRCHES. I put my phone in my right pocket and ...
Kyle :: Anthony Bayer
Kyle sat across from me at the other head of my dining table. He had a half-empty beer bottle loosely grasped in his right hand. The sun filled the room though the giant windows. Kyle was blankly staring off to my right. “Kyle?&am...
Watermellon Juice :: Anthony Bayer
Time blurred. It looped around itself, and repeated itself. Or we kept doing the same thing. The gin felt very warm down my throat, mixed with the watermelon juice, very bitter. We laughed and talked nothingness for hours. It seemed like th...
Kids :: Anthony Bayer
2020 08 20: Kids This story is timed to the following song for almost all readers. Please play the song and read along with the lyrics. https://themidnight.bandcamp.com/track/kids-reprise I laid on my bed, staring up at the ceiling. I liste...
Million Dollar Laptop :: Anthony Bayer
The engine sound annoyed me, I wasn’t used to gas vehicles; but it was soothing and something to anchor myself to time and reality. I was nervous, this was my first time, my sister’s third. I tried to calm myself down, &...
The Same Bench :: Anthony Bayer
ldquo;How did you find me?” he asked as I sat down. “How do you think?” I asked. He stayed silent for a second, “I don’t know - I made it as impossible as I could for you to do that.&rdq...
Kiss :: Anthony Bayer
I was starting to get hot - I, looking down at him, could tell he was as well, but I kept going. I looked into his eyes, and then carefully moved my face down to kiss him. He didn’t fight, he embraced me without ability to use his...
Jennifer Garrison :: Anthony Bayer
Sanchez: How are you today, Jennifer? Jennifer: Fine. Sanchez: How is Tyler? Jennifer: Who’s Tyler? Sanchez: Your cousin. Jennifer: I don’t have a cousin. Sanchez: You don’t have and have never had a cousin? Je...
Drunk :: Anthony Bayer
I sat down at the terminal, and logged into my computer back at my other house. As soon as I hit enter my desktop appeard on the screen, with the programs I had open when I last used my computer still there. I dragged Firefox from the left ...
Minecraft :: Anthony Bayer
Any student in any computer science program, or anyone who asked nicely, was given a single rack mounted server to run whatever they wanted on it, assuming it wasn’t illegal or inappropriate or something. Currently, of the 500 or ...
Server Farm :: Anthony Bayer
Anthony paused quickly to look up at Josh. Josh looked down and to the left at him, confused why Anthony looked up at him. Both Josh and Anthony were in full tactical gear, Josh was leaning against the end of a row of server racks, holding ...
In the Afternoon :: Anthony Bayer
Ms. Northington was sitting still in her office chair looking off into the distance. I was sitting on the corner of her wooden desk looking down on her. She was quietly reflecting on herself. “What on Earth were you trying to do?&...
Ben :: Anthony Bayer
An original feeling. Never felt before by anyone Something you thought was impossible, Yet fucked up enough for it to happen. Your warm tears flowing up by back. Flowing around my neck and joining mine. Littering the bed
Samantha :: Anthony Bayer
ldquo;He’s a solid ten,” Samantha said, “no doubt about it.” “Who?” I asked. “Bryce Pendren.” “Why are we talking about this?” Kyle complain...
NULL :: Anthony Bayer
I think one of the most interesting moments in my life was when I confessed who I was to Ms. Northington I told her what my family did for a living. She didn’t know already like a lot of the other kids in similar places; she kept it a secre...
New York :: Anthony Bayer
The elevator opened to a perfectly-sized private landing with another elevator directly facing us. There was a giant mahogany door to our right, with a small cute wooden bench in the open area next to it. Josh, Jessica, and I stepped off of...
Veterans' Day :: Anthony Bayer
Jessica was in the backyard talking to Max Thornhill, a classmate of ours. “I think that she’s a good fit for you, but I just think she’s a total- Oh hey, Anthony.” “Hello, Jessica. Hello, M...
Los Angeles :: Anthony Bayer
I sped up to the speed of traffic, and started to get over into the left lane; I had been driving for almost two hours now, it was getting late. I sped up even more, the electric engine made little sound, but the bass of the music resonated...
An Email :: Anthony Bayer
The following is the headers and PGP message to an email earlier today. X-Pm-Origin: internal X-Pm-Content-Encryption: end-to-end Subject: 2018 10 09 From: Anthony Bayer <personal@anthonybayer.org> Date: Tue, 09 Oct 2018 19:43...
A Sunny Day :: Anthony Bayer
Tyler looked at the glass Amy had set down just a second before. It was a typical household glass filled with an orange-pink liquid. “What’s this?” Tyler asked. Amy finished sitting down. “Orange, str...
The Images :: Anthony Bayer
When I first created Anthony, I did it online by signing up for a Protonmail account so that I could fuck around on the dark web mostly anonymously. Not that I was doing anything explicit, I just loved (and still love) computers and the int...
Target Practice :: Anthony Bayer
The handgun felt heavy, but was easy to hold. It was solid metal, cold, and dark. I inspected the gun for safety. The clip was inserted properly, there were not any worrying scratches or damage, it was good. I aimed the gun at the target po...
Improvisation :: Anthony Bayer
It was the first day of school and Jessica was already liking Theater class. “The first thing you need to know about theater is improvisation.” Mr. Hamblet said, mainly to the freshmen since most everyone else had alread...
High School :: Anthony Bayer
Ms. Northington walked through the door that was just violently swung into the bathroom. Four girls leaned against the wall in a corner. One was texting on her phone, and another, Beverly, quickly hid something behind her back. “H...
Ben :: Anthony Bayer
Ben was completely focused on the game. He was leaning forward, and his mouth hung slightly open. Nothing distracted him. You are like, really focused." I commented. “I am.” He responded. He was playing duos Roc...
Samantha :: Anthony Bayer
I’m too scared to say anything, out of fear of being wrong, but I know I can’t be. I’m too worried about my hair or my voice, even though none of those things matter to you. Instead I’m just sitting h...
Aftergame :: Anthony Bayer
I hit the ball over the net, just in the right spot for the ball to hit the water. We scored a point. It was my turn to serve. I tossed the ball up into the air, and hit it well over the net. The entire basketball team was celebrating a hug...
Ostrichism :: Anthony Bayer
Tyler embraced Anthony’s grasp on him. It’s not that he did not want to embrace it - nor did he have any other choice. Tyler loved the feeling of someone’s body pressing up against him, someone’s hand...
First Grade :: Anthony Bayer
Whenever my grade school did spirit week, there was always a pajama day, every time. I don’t remember what time of year it was, thanks to LA’s very smooth weather, but I remember one pajama day where my class was standin...
Dream :: Anthony Bayer
It feels real, even though I wouldn’t think that afterwards. Completely nonsensical without context, and even with - only to me. I feel helpless as I’m forced to do things. And it feels like nothing else exists. That I w...
Arms Race :: Anthony Bayer
ldquo;You know,” Mr. Sanchez said, putting down his glass, “No matter how long I have known, I am always amazed at how much processing power this facility has.” Anthony swallowed what he was drinking and put do...
He Noticed :: Anthony Bayer
I have this one photo that I keep in a special folder in my pictures appropriately called “Favorites”. It’s one out of five photos that I look at whenever I feel like; but I always look at this photo more than ...
Ms. Northington :: Anthony Bayer
I was nervous, even though I wasn’t the one who had done something wrong. My heart raced along with my and my parents’ feet. The halls were empty. They were lit the same amount as every day, but it seemed brighter since ...
Tuesday :: Anthony Bayer
Ben put a piece of Duck in his mouth. He embraced the taste of it, chewed it, and then eventually swallowed it. “Is it good?” I asked. “Yeah, it’s fucking delicious.” He complemented, he ate...
Marissa Blanc :: Anthony Bayer
I sat staring blankly as my hands clamped loosely around the warm ceramic cup of coffee I made for myself. Marissa interrupted me as she sat down on a chair next to me. “Hey!” she said to both get my attention and greet ...
With Him :: Anthony Bayer
Tyler didn’t wait for me. I just watched as he left me at the bar for the dance floor. I sipped on my rum and coke. He conservatively smiled at me before he started moving aimlessly at the song. I watched him forget where he was, who he was...
Goodbye :: Anthony Bayer
Anthony looked at me. “Hello. He said. “Hello.” I said back. Anthony seemed confused, “Yeah sorry, I didn’t really know how else to start this.” I said. Anthony seemed more confuse...
Allan Mincer :: Anthony Bayer
Allan and Mr. Sanchez sat on opposite ends of a very long glass conference table. Light poured in from the window that took up an entire lengthwise wall “My job is to keep you in check.” Allan sternly stated. “...
High :: Anthony Bayer
The porcelain bathtub was almost warm because of how long I had my cheek resting on it. The sun setting over the Pacific Ocean was bright in my eyes as I stared at it - but not bright enough to blind me. The room-temperature water soaked in...
Empire :: Anthony Bayer
Mr. Sanchez walked through an opened mahogany door, which shut and locked behind him. He looked back at the door even though he know that would happen. He looked around. The house had been rearranged slightly. He couldn’t really p...
Scars :: Anthony Bayer
I stared down into Ben’s eyes. He was out of it - he was looking up into nothingness, completely enveloped by pleasure. I was wearing nothing but a small tight bright green scarf around my neck; Ben liked it for some reason. Ben w...
The Met Museum :: Anthony Bayer
ldquo;It looks like a drunk man peed paint on a canvass and then tried to paint over it.” Jessica declared. I stared up at the painting from the bench. The painting was a huge mess of paint that sang a harmony of balance. &ldq...
Nostalgia :: Anthony Bayer
The wind blew my hair as the car sped down the straight open New Mexico roads - running from and to the unknown. I laid back, for so long now I was almost tired of it. The happy, snappy 80s-styled music from the one cassete I owned played t...
Bourbon :: Anthony Bayer
I drank a bit more of my bourbon. It tasted sweet, but still had the bitter hard taste of alcoholic drinks. A woman with black somewhat curly hair sat down in the empty stool next to me, “A neat old forester, please.” sh...
Austin :: Anthony Bayer
My mind sunk deeper into the game, nothing but what was on the court and the scoreboard existed. Fifteen seconds, one point down, fatigue, sweat, noise. Our possession, with set up offense. Failure, ball was stolen. Their possession. Ten se...
Spring Break :: Anthony Bayer
I was sitting at a table overlooking a snow covered mountain, with some trey jagged rocks showing their side through the snow. “Liking it here?” I asked Tyler. He was sitting across from me at a small round metal table. ...
Postmortem :: Anthony Bayer
I was almost late. The appointment was set at 3 and it was 2:58. I parked my car in the half-empty lot outside a small building that was so modern it looked like it was built five days ago. I walked in the front glass door to meet a recepti...
Maybe :: Anthony Bayer
Kyle sat to the left of me on the right side of a king bed. I could hear the faint sound of loud music from the ongoing party through the door to the room. “Thank you.” a very drunk Kyle said. “For what?&rd...
Amy :: Anthony Bayer
Marissa sat down at the other side of the table. “Okay, what, the FUCK, do you think you’re doing?” She asserted at Amy, who looked up from her phone, and quickly after locked it and set it face-down on the tab...
Last Train :: Anthony Bayer
https://themidnight.bandcamp.com/track/last-train I laid staring at the ceiling on top of my fully made bed. The previous track had just stopped, and I anticipated the start of the next one. A sweet, unique yet recognizable synthwave melody...
Boring :: Anthony Bayer
Beleive it or not I’m actually kind of bored right now. Nothing is happening, apparently crime is on vacation along with everyone else in New York. It’s great and all being with Mona, but I’m just not used to s...
Pep Rally :: Anthony Bayer
ldquo;Are you sure you can do this?” Ms. Northington asked me. “I prepared another pep rally without you in it. I even came up with some excuses for you.” “You… You wrote an enitre other sc...
A Man :: Anthony Bayer
ldquo;For Our final question,” Ms. Randall started, “I will ask what seems to be the most confusing part of the play: Why do you think Macbeth took more power even though he knew it would inevitably destroy him?&rdqu...
First Kiss :: Anthony Bayer
ldquo;And how many of you are there?” “Just two.” I answered. The librarian moved her mouse, clicked, hit the “2” key on her numpad, and then the enter key. Okay, you get room 17, which is o...
Beverly :: Anthony Bayer
Kyle felt ashamed, the type of shame that made Kyle feel ashamed for feeling that way. Beverly pressured Kyle more, “Kyle,” she said in the most upfront and least pushy way possible, “What happened.” ...
Implant :: Anthony Bayer
I woke up in my clothes on top of a soft queen bed in a very plain blue room. I sat up and stretched my arms. I still felt a little weak, I was sedated for a few hours. A boy about 14 years of age walked into the room. “How are yo...
Namespace :: Anthony Bayer
It happens so suddenly, yet takes forever to set in. It’s like going away for summer, or remembering someone who moved away. I become detached from myself. my senses senses become information, not part of my surroundings. I drift ...
Bryce Pendren :: Anthony Bayer
Sanchez: How are you feeling today, Bryce? Bryce: I’m okay. Sanchez: Can you elaborate? Bryce: I just, feel fine. Not good or bad. Sanchez: I am going to ask you a series of really, really stupid and/or confusing questions; just d...
Dinner :: Anthony Bayer
Ben looked really cute in a suit, and somehow didn’t seem out of place in a sea of older people. He was looking at me almost emotionless. Ben slowly started to take a drink of some scotch that took up a fifth of the glass; he look...
A Toast :: Anthony Bayer
My great grandfather next to me tapped his fingernail on his champagne glass, the resulting ring echoed throughout the room. He stood up, like people normally would have to ask permission to make a toast, except him. The room got quiet and ...
San Fransisco :: Anthony Bayer
ldquo;Are you enjoying your, whatever that is?” Josh asked, motioning towards my drink. “Yeah.” I answered. I continued to look out the window at San Fransisco, and the Golden Gate Bridge. The sunset creaed a c...
The Day Of :: Anthony Bayer
The five of them were sitting in various places around a conference table, each with a laptop and a glass of ice water in front of them. A young brunette woman, an older man, a Native-American woman, a middle aged man, and a young Latino wo...
Imagination :: Anthony Bayer
I stretched a little bit before I got started, and then stalled myself for some reason. The only light was the little bit left from the setting sun which came in through my window. I was always cold naked - and it was almost night and winte...
Mental Health :: Anthony Bayer
Tyler was sitting sideways in a chair perpendicular to the part of a round table with four other people on it, making him face almost 180 degrees away from the table, his left arm resting on the back of the table. He snapped into reality. H...
Homophobia :: Anthony Bayer
ldquo;Are you okay, do you need a minute?” Ms. Northington said. “No, I’m fine,” I said, “just confused.” A few silent seconds passed. “Why are you confused?” S...
Spring of 2018 :: Anthony Bayer
Please play the following song and read the story at the same time. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=azAyA-wD25w For the first time in my life, I can think about Tyler without being sad or uncomfortable or depressed. I’ve kind of h...
Foreword :: Anthony Bayer
If there’s one lesson that writing essays in high school taught me, it would be that the beginning and end are the hardest parts of creating something. Whenever it came time to write an essay, I would always know what idea I wanted to get a...
Over a Month :: Anthony Bayer
I just realized that it has been over a month since I published my last story. I have been working on something that I like, but I guess I just forgot to contuinue working on it. Currently I have 8 stories in my queue, but for some reason I...
Fiction :: Anthony Bayer
ldquo;Does anyone know why fiction is more important than just entertainment?” Ms. Randall asked the class as she walked up to the front and turned to face us. The class was at a loss - we couldn’t think of anything. &am...
The Truth :: Anthony Bayer
Anthony sat at the head of a dining table, Tyler sat to the left of Anthony on a long side of the table. Both of them seemed to be daydreaming but in actuality neither knew what to say. “So, we’re half brothers.&rdqu...
Secret :: Anthony Bayer
This party was surreal. I’m am not used to being around people right now, let alone 420 of them. I know that everyone was tested negative twice with some super accurate and super expensive test, but I still feel uncomfortable. The...
Flight :: Anthony Bayer
The automated captain’s voice sounded over the intercom after a semi-high-piched tone, “Uhhh… This is your passive-aggressive captain speaking. We are about an hour into our 12 hour flight back to LA. If you l...
Late Night Dream :: Anthony Bayer
Tyler’s eyes reflected the bright images from the mid-sized TV twenty feet in front of him. His eyes quickly darted across random angles looking at different parts of the screen. The noise from the TV was muffled. The camera moved...
Basketball Practice :: Anthony Bayer
I carefully dribbled the basketball a few feet from the 3 point line. My team tried to give me options to pass or handle the ball. I eventually passed it to Jessica, who was the wing on the left side of the court. She dribbled in for a shot...
Myself :: Anthony Bayer
Jessica, Kyle, Samantha, and I sat at a table meant for six people - there were two seats empty. “There’s a game tonight.” Kyle said; not informing anyone: Jessica, Kyle and I were all on the basketball team, a...
Homecoming :: Anthony Bayer
I set the four drinks down at the table, and sat down in the seat my friends saved for me. Everyone grabbed one and drank it a little. “Fruit punch.” Samantha said, “Why is the only time I ever have fruit punch...
Kyle :: Anthony Bayer
I parked my car in my usual spot in the garage; not that there were any others free anyway. “Wow,” Kyle remarked, “This is nice.” I turned off my car and put my key in my bag. “Thanks.&r...
Boys :: Anthony Bayer
Anthony sat at his seat, typing away at his laptop. Command after command, he configured server after server to work with the new fiberoptics newly laid across the world. The monospace text flew by his face, he looked at almost none of it, ...
Drinks :: Anthony Bayer
I took another sip of my drink. It was cold, and tasted of strawberry, the dill leaves inside added a bit of its flavor too. I set the drink down on the small circular table made of light colored wooden planks in a rustic metal frame to my ...
The Insurance Company :: Anthony Bayer
I struggled, but there were two of them holding me. They searched my body. They took my gun, my phone, and my wallet and left it on the ground. I was violently dragged into a running black SUV. One of the men sat on the driver’s s...
Announcements :: Anthony Bayer
PGP Signature of this page - 2024 08 18: Writer’s Block
Writer's Block :: Anthony Bayer
So it’s been a few months since I posted my previous chapter and a few years since my last blog post. I’m hitting a wall. And it’s a weird wall. I find myself being eager to write, having ideas of what I want t...
Thanksgiving :: Anthony Bayer
There’s an individual feeling for everything. We tend to describe things as the typical emotions and descriptions we have - happy, angry, wet, smooth. But they fail to describe the specifics that are sometimes necessary. So imagin...
At Age :: Anthony Bayer
Sanchez: How are you today, Kyle? Kyle: I’m great, thanks for asking. Sanchez: I’m going to ask you a series of questions, do your best to answer them. If you ever need anything please tell me. Kyle: Okay. Sanchez: Ready...
Root :: Anthony Bayer
The following is the body of an email encrypted with my PGP key sent to my inbox with no return address originating from the IP 204.85.191.31. The body was signed with Tyler’s PGP key, then encrypted with my public PGP key. This e...
Of Course :: Anthony Bayer
Kyle walked into the kitchen and sat at the other end of the table I was sitting at. He had no idea why I was there. He looked at me, “Did you sleep?” “No.” I said. He then looked around, “Y...
Olivia Jiu Hutton :: Anthony Bayer
My reflection stared back at me. I was wearing tight almost-blue black pants, canvass shoes that were colored the same way, a yellow, with a gray plaid pattern, button up shirt, a dark-gray wool jacket with two columns of large buttons, and...