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PGP Signature of this page 2019-03-12 Flight The automated captain’s voice sounded over the intercom after a semi-high-piched tone, “Uhhh… This is your passive-aggressive captain speaking. We are about an hour into our 12 hour flight back to LA. If you look out the window, you won’t see that we’re flying over France because it’s pitch black outside… probably because it’s 2AM here… And a second reminder that this is a twelve hour flight, so you can either enjoy the amenities, or go fuck yourself.” The same tone sounded. “Who programmed that thing?” I asked out loud to nobody. The tone sounded again, “It has just occurred to me that you will probably be doing both of those activities.” The automated captain said. The tone sounded one more time. I took a drink of my scotch. It was sweet for scotch - I liked sweeter drinks. I was sitting in a comfortable cloth single-person couch, facing a wooden table that would be just big enough for two people to eat at. My laptop was bright in the dimmed cabin. It displayed the home screen of the Plex server my family uses that has more or less all [reasonably popular] movies, TV shows, and music on it. I was planning on watching something, but I couldn’t decide. Another drink of my scotch. I looked out the window. There were a few small towns that were a little lit up, nothing else was in view. I sighed. A moment of realization. I was alone, on a plane. No pilot, no attendant, no other passengers; just me. I wept. Another drink of my scotch. Next: Spring Break